Frozen & movie etiquette

frozen

I think I must be annoying to see movies with, because things like the story I’m about to tell frustrate me a lot. I don’t mind the occasional murmur to a friend in a movie, or even a time-check in desperate situations. But if we are watching a movie together that we agreed to see and you keep speaking too loudly, or it’s a movie you know I love and you’re just texting through the good bits…

Looks like the 90s won’t be calling you any more. 

So, a few nights ago, I was at the movies with the boyfriend to see Frozen. There was a guy who came in just as the movie was starting, and he sat a few rows in front of us. There were only about 10 people in the theatre, all adults, and there was a general feeling of camaraderie as we sat down to watch a kids movie at 7pm on a weeknight.

And then the movie started.

Two-rows-down-to-the-left guy was there not just to enjoy the movie, but to have the TIME OF HIS LIFE. From the beginning, he laughed at everything, loudly and with abandon.

I have nothing against people laughing loudly in theatres – more power to you and your crazy guffaw. It can even make the movie theatre atmosphere chummier and lighter. But this guy was laughing at EVERYTHING. Not just the jokes, but the lead up to one. Even the lead up to a regular moment.

Let me make this clear: Frozen is a beautiful movie, and it is funny and charming, but is not a rapidfire gag factory like TRDTTL guy was making it out to be.

Some people have the sort of loud laughter that embraces other people, invites you to join in. TRDTTL’s laughter was the kind that has a sharp edge that cuts across your own, that pulls attention, that shifts theatre patrons in their chairs uncomfortably.

There are theatre goers to who are showy with their distractions – texters, loud chatters – but then there’s a guy in a room with 9 other people who keeps pulling your focus.

Is there such a thing as a selfish laugh?

I probably sound horribly judgmental and like I’m overreacting, which I most definitely am. But I think you might know where I’m coming from if you’ve been in a similar situation.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST WANT TO WATCH YOUR ANIMATED MUSICAL IN PEACE.

On the upside, I got this super-sweet magic cup, which one of the other Frozen-viewers coveted:

Oh, ah, I suppose it's alright, as far as cups go--

Oh, ah, I suppose it’s alright, as far as cups go–

then…

BAM!
Magic ice powers!

And now I want to build a snowman.

Scattered thoughts & feelings roundup (STFR #1)

So January is nearing its end. Are you used to writing ‘14’ at the end of the date yet? I do it but it’s yet to feel natural. I sort of feel like I’m lying to the paper. I heard someone say ‘2014’ today and I seriously thought they meant it was 2015 because I’m stuck in the past and apparently all odd numbers are the same to me.

Anyway, it has been a little while and nothing has inspired me to do a full post, so instead here’s a ROUNDUP of SCATTERED THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS that have been bouncing around my mind.

I’ll use bullet points so this seems more efficient and important.

  • I’M SICK. I got hit with tonsillitis this week, which is not good for working with babies. Therefore I have been home from work for the last few days feeling sad and weak. My body just quits when I get sick – I was washing my hair earlier and my arms got tired about four seconds into my first shampoo. Pity me.

 

  • BUCKLEYITIS. I seem to be having another flare up of Buckleyitis, which is an ongoing condition where you can’t stop listening to Jeff Buckley. In my particular case, the song on repeat is ‘Lover, you should’ve come over’. It’s in my head all the time.

There is no known cure.

 

  • TV IS BACK. The new season of Sherlock was excellent and it made me cry. The boyfriend is dealing with my renewed Cumberbatch obsession well. Also, the return to Harmon Community is amazing and made me cry. Can you hurry up and watch it so we can talk about it?

 

  • GIF. Did we all just decide to roll with pronouncing ‘GIF’ as ‘JIF’? Look, I get it. The GIF man revealed that’s how he intended it to be said. But you know what? JK Rowling says ‘Voldemort’ as ‘Voldemore’, and we all ignored that, didn’t we?

 

  • BOOKS #1. Meg Cabot played/continues to play a big role in my literary life; I started reading her books when I was around 10.
    Here’s a fun story: once, my grandpa was visiting when I was rereading the second Princess Diaries book, and I left it lying around. He apparently flipped through a few pages and came to a section where Mia, the titular princess, laments her mother’s surprise pregnancy and wonders how two adults could not remember that condoms and other forms of birth control exist. Grandpa was quite surprised about my reading material, from what I’ve heard.

 

  • MOVIE ADAPTATIONS OF BOOKS. Nothing here about the Hobbit and Smaug because some of us have never read nor seen anything to do with Lord of the Rings, okay?! Yes, I know they’re great. I know I like fantasy novels. I know. All things in time.Anyway, I came across the second movie adaptation of The Princess Diaries the other day, and watching it, I was filled with such rage – so many ‘what’ and ‘why’ and ‘just name your movie something else, I implore you’ moments. Why take something so interesting and boil it down to bland mush? I’m talking specifically to you, Anne Hathaway. First the Princess Diaries, then Ella Enchanted? Will no childhood favourite of mine be left without a terrible film adaptation in which you star? WHY DO YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS, ANNE?

UGHH.

  • BOOKS #1.5: After my movie-induced rage I spent some time googling people’s reactions to the books & films. Someone was saying they would steer their 12 year old away from reading the books, because they thought their child was too young for the content. This made me sad, because I adored the series so much at that age, and the books have such positive messages.

I then remembered that I read The Bell Jar when I was 12. I was so startled I had to text the friend who recommended the book to me to confirm. Perhaps my reading experiences were not quite typical… Not that TPD and TBJ are thematically comparable.

  • BOOKS #2. Jaclyn Moriarty is my favourite author; if I could write like anyone, it would be her. Her style is so unique, and her books are incredible – if you’ve not read anything by her, you’re only hurting yourself. All of JM’s novels are great – I’m currently rereading A Corner of White, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. Her books are the kind that make you want to read nothing else afterward, so you can be immersed in her words and world a little longer. Look, I’m running out of adjectives. I’m surprised you’ve not already gone out and bought it.

 

  • FROZEN. I went and saw the movie last night, and it was cute. I know people are having a lot of feelings about it on tumblr, but sometimes (for sanity’s sake) one must ignore the tumblr feels. I have more to say about this cinema-going experience, but I’ll save it for another day.

 

I think that is enough for today. What have we learned from this experience, dear reader? You’re saying you’ve learned nothing? Hmm. Maybe take some notes next time.

 

Do you have some STF of your own, pinballing inside your head? Feel free to add them in le comments.

Last-minute, super-specific Christmas presents

Ho ho ho!

It’s that magical time of year where (in my hemisphere) we sing carols about how Wintry and cold it is, trying to ignore how our frustrated last-minute-present-buying tears evaporate instantly in the heat. Chestnuts burst into flame with an open door. Walking in a summer hell-inferno. Fa la la la la!

Perhaps you procrastinate about presents. Maybe you forgot a friend. Well, I have some good news for you, dear reader. I have carefully – lovingly, even – selected four gifts that will perfectly suit the important and very specific people in your life. Why only four? Because it’s nearing 40 degrees outside and if I type too long I might collapse.

On with the gifts!

1. Online daters

Christmas is a time for indulgence, and gifts are the perfect vehicle for dessert consumption. Do you have a friend who is into internet dating? Or perhaps they need a push into the world of online romance?

Remind them of the good – and the bad – that can come with meeting their love online with the subtle use of a character cake.

Well hello..

And then..

Image

CATFISHED!

The best Christmas presents give year-long life lessons.

2. Secret Santa

This one is a little cheaper, good for the office Secret Santa gift, as it applies to many. Is the giftee a coffee drinker? Do they hate sharing with the rest of the plebs? Do they regularly point out misspellings and strange phrasing in emails and on menus? Do they just really like the distinctive feel of velvet? Then look no further:

Velvety taste: the great equaliser

I just want to point out at this juncture that these photos were all sourced by me. I know, the artistic angles ARE impressive.

3. The Frenemy

Is there someone in your life who you hate but also are friends with? Do you need a way to send a passive-aggressive message to that person? Bridge that hard-to-buy-for gap with Cuisinart:

‘Wow Jenny, I heard that you’re dieting now. Good for you!’

It really says ‘I don’t like you, but I care’.

4. The person who has everything/your favourite

The worst person to buy for: you want something that will wow them, that will leave an impression. They already have what they need and they ask for nothing. What can you even BUY for a person like that?!

Brace yourselves.

The Dream Batcher.

Forgive the picture quality, but I’m not sure that the glory of the Batman Dream Catcher can be caught on film. Imagine unwrapping this on Christmas day. Is there anyone else you’d want guarding your dreams? He IS the night.

Make one, buy one, it doesn’t matter. The world is better with more Dream Batchers in it.

A word of warning, though- you may buy the Dream Batcher with the intent to give it to that special person, yet it may never leave your possession. In that case, welcome to my world, friend.

I hope this has helped you with your specific-friend Christmas shopping! If all else fails, there is one more gift that will never be unwelcome in Australia during the holiday season:

Merry Christmas!

The Coffee Man

I’ve heard murmurings of him before; I’ve seen the evidence of his brief visits.

He comes but once a week, like a seven-day Santa Claus. I’ve not seen his face nor his van, but I am assured that he exists-

he is the Coffee Man.

I had my first experience of The Coffee Man visiting work yesterday. My supervisor ducked into the room during her break and said to me, ‘The Coffee Man is here. What do you want?’. Overwhelmed, I stuttered out ‘latte’ and ‘soy maybe if he has it otherwise not but can you ask please?’ while pushing dollar coins at her. She disappeared.

The Coffee Man has a name, but only half – Trav. And apparently he isn’t the most reliable guy around; sometimes he swings by, sometimes he forgets. Sometimes he honks the horn and leaves when not responded to promptly, like a grown up ice cream van.

The Coffee Man giveth, and the Coffee Man taketh away.

Today, I would have adored a visit from the Coffee Man. Working in a childcare centre can be both ridiculously fun and incredibly frustrating – the latter, especially, on a day like today: drizzly, slightly too chilly to go outside.

I barely understood the meaning of ‘frustrating’ until I had a room full of babies, half of them crying, the other half climbing on stacked chairs or pushing each other or pulling things off of walls. The weather change from stupidly hot on Wednesday to cold and dreary Thursday seemed to deeply affect the kids. When I went on a ten minute break I stress-ate a bunch of chocolate off of a caterpillar cake that was sitting in the staff room. The cake looked like this:

 

 

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO HAPPY ABOUT?

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO HAPPY ABOUT?

And generated a surprising amount of animosity.

Some days I don’t need the Coffee Man. Today was not one of those days.

Yesterday, she returned, pointed to the coffee cup sitting on the kitchen bench – I didn’t even see it appear – and she smiled and said, ‘soy’.

See you next week, Trav.

Doctor What

So I had a brilliant idea today.

I love Doctor Who as much as the next person, provided the next person is a D-Who fan. With Day of the Doctor approaching the internet is aflutter with Whoery, so it makes sense that the good Doc has been on my mind.

Anyway, I was casually showering when the thought hit me – why stop at Doctor Who? What about the rest of the Ws? Or even the cool step-sibling, how?

What, I thought, about what?

I decided to whip up some storyboards to help explain my vision. Here are two possible episode ideas:

Doctor what 2.1

Doctor what 2.2

Screen Shot 2013-11-23 at 12.46.28 am

Am I right? The ‘of’ is implied, like the question mark at the end of ‘Doctor Who’.

I know I’m onto something here.

Still not convinced? Try this on for size:

Doctor what 1.1

Doctor what 1.3Screen Shot 2013-11-23 at 12.46.28 amWhat a loveable rogue!

Basically, over time, we’d see him solve some crisis – like a field of cactus dying – and then be presented with a similar crisis – like a small, house-cactus dying – and he’d be all ‘Ooh, yeah, that’s not really my area of expertise’.

DOCTOR WHAT!

Doctorates are mysterious things.